Douche Commercials

Have you ever been comfortably sitting in front of your TV, enjoying some show (not on the Lifetime channel as that invalidates the results), and suddenly your senses are assaulted by some asinine commentary on which brand of douche/tampon/sanitary pad one uses? (As opposed to an unsanitary pad?) These inane wastes of television space nearly always involve a mother/daughter, sister/sister, or best friend pair discussing, in public locations, things that women just don't talk about. I have zero clue which brand tampon my sister uses. I have no clue when the last time my mother douched is. I'm absolutely OK with this lack of knowledge.

But armed with this knowledge, and the hubris of teenagers, my sister and I one day embarked upon the journey to embarrass as many people as possible, by staging douche commercials for public consumption. We'd wait until surrounded, and start asking “well, what do you do when you just don't feel fresh?”

The looks on people's faces were priceless. The shock people experience having what's generally a natural bodily process discussed was amusing, to say the very least. The snickering we got made it worth while. The gay guy telling us “well, douche of course!” was icing on the cake.

Which leads to the question: why don't we see jock itch commercials on TV? Why are men forced to watch two overly perky women (especially since they're theoretically PMSing) discuss which sanitary napkin leaks least, while I never get to see men squirm over their jock strap being displayed on TV? Just once, I'd like to see a man try to explain what “Fungibegone” does to his girlfriend.